Food and Detention

There are many reasons to love holidays. The family reunions, the ceremonies, the general happiness and the amazing atmosphere are without doubt good reasons to love holidays. But you have to admit that one of the most important things in holidays is the food. Every holiday has its special dishes that everyone waits for all year long. There is only one holiday that doesn’t posses this quality: Shavuot. Seriously, who came up with the idea of having a holiday with no meat? Come on! We don’t have eyetooth for no reason! I know, salads, pies, quiches, pastries, lasagnas are all good, but that certainly doesn’t make me want to waste a holiday on them.

This year Shavuot was even worse than usual. IDF’s kitchens are simply not equipped to prepare “milky” food, and that takes out even the small comfort of the traditional cheese cake.

But even my mother’s cheese cake absence would have been bearable unless I had to spend the last few weeks confined to the base, and enslaved with the most useless donkey-work. That’s why I haven’t written in quite a while. For some reason, my commander didn’t find it amusing that I wondered around in the kitchen at 3 AM (It was my friend’s birthday and I drew the short straw and had to sneak to the kitchen and take care of the gastronomic part of the party) and sentenced me to what seemed to be endless detention.

Sorry for not writing. Being a soldier has its shortcomings. I hope things would get back to normal and I could post again soon. It’s way better than uprooting every single weed on a 15 mile radius. ..

The YAMAM

David, one of the few readers who encouraged me from the very first post, sent me a link he thought I’d like.
If you’re too lazy to check, this is a video article made by the site Jerusalem Online, about the Israeli counter terrorism unit. Actually, we have enough terrorists to keep several counter-terrorism units busy, and this is just one of them called “YAMAM”. In general, the YAMAM is the Israeli equivalent of the American SWAT. I recommend David’s movie - it really shows what the unit is all about.

Not long ago, I wrote about animal instincts, these guys defiantly lack one very important instinct: The survival instinct. To do the things they consider ordinary mission, you must be absolutely fearless. Or Crazy. Or both. I think both. I wonder what Darwin would have said about them, if he was alive - They are the strongest, but it just seems they don’t care about their lives as much a sane human being should be.

But, as cool as these guys are (and trust me, they are cool), they are the last people I want to see next to me on a combat mission. It’s not that I don’t trust them - I’d trust these men with my life. They are the best in their business. But if they get paged it could only mean one out of two things: either the terrorists did good (bad), or we seriously screwed up (worst).

The YAMAM only arrives where things are completely messed up. They are called to clean up the mess, and they are more than qualified to deal with anything the terrorist might throw at them. But you know what? Everything would be a whole lot better if every one of us “simple” soldiers do his job and prevent things from going so badly in the first place.

So, YAMAM guys, stay sharp, stay alert and keep up the good shape, but let’s hope you won’t need to take out any mission in the near future.

A cup of tea?

If I had to pick something from the British culture that I want to adopt in the IDF, I would most likely pick the five o’clock tea. What could be better than taking a break from the day’s hard work, and sitting for a cup of tea? Actually, a soccer and beer (You have to admire British beer drinking habits) break would have been a lot better, but for some reason they picked tea.

Obviously tea breaks are not an option in the IDF (At least until I’ll be able to whisper on the Chief of Staff’s ear), so IDF’s soldiers picked the second option – Weather talks (Why couldn’t the British go with a soccer and beer break? Why?).

I don’t know how you see this abroad, but here in Israel the British fetish for talking about the weather is a subject to many jokes. But we soldiers have a very good reason to talk about the weather. When you go out for any sort of mission that involves being outside for six, ten or even 24 hours, the weather becomes critical. Even the faintest rain could get you sunken wet when you are out for so long. And don’t think we are looking for a bright sunny day: the Israeli sun could get you soaked wet just as well as the rain does. What are we after? Nice cold day, not too hot, not too cold, no rain, not too sunny, not too windy. Statistically speaking, the odds for getting the perfect weather in Israel are probably slimmer than the odds to win the lottery. When I think of it, maybe that’s why we don’t really give weather reports, but fantasize about it.

My parents always taught to be thankful for what I have, so I’ll have to admit that even though we talk about the weather like the British, we certainly don’t have to endure their horrible weather! (But they do have the best soccer league in the world, I’ll give them that).

I wish you all nice cool breezy days!
Yoav.

Animal Instincts

Now that I’m sure that control girls are out of the equation, I must do something to find a real date. Unless, the seven men snoring in my tent can count for a relationship...
Serving in the IDF shows you that human beings simply aren’t built to spend their entire lives in a mono-sex atmosphere. In many ways, our quests for relationship comes from the deepest place of our soul – almost animal like need.

As a matter of fact, I wish that women would use their animal instincts when they look for their next date. Why? Well, let’s just say that if women had chosen their partners like lionesses, according to one’s muscles, things would have been a lot easier for me. You know what? even dueling over a date would most likely make things a lot more simple for me. Even with peacocks I had a better starting point – I don’t have feathers (Thank God), but my beret surely would have had a significant effect (Every soldier thinks his beret is the best looking one, so you don’t have to take my word here). Swallow birds? I can assure you I’m monogamous and faithful.

Now that sounds promising, isn't it? Now, all I got to do is figure out which species would agree to be with me, when I only come back home every other week (at most).

My dearest readers, if you had found such species I would be more than happy to hear about it, because so far I haven’t been able to.

Oh, and by the way, I heard some species use special pheromones that could be smelled from over 10 kilometers away. I’m afraid such sensitive nose won’t do me good, since even my mom smells the stench of my uniform from dozen kilometers away, when I come back home from two weeks without a shower.

Waiting for Churchill

Today is May 10th. Churchill wasn’t born that day. He didn’t die that day. He didn’t even made one of his great speeches that day. But on that day he changed the course of history.
On May 10th 1940, Nazi Germany, led by the infamous Hitler, invaded the Netherlands. World War II started over eight months before that day, but this part of the war wasn’t named “Bore War” for nothing – Britain under the fragile leadership of Neville Chamberlain‏ declared war against Germany, but in fact did everything in its power to avoid major scale escalation with Germany, just like it did before the war with the humiliating “Munich Agreements”.
Mere hours after the invasion, Chamberlain resigned. Churchill was called to change history, and clear it from the dreadful ideas of the Nazism.

Today, almost 70 years later we know that Chamberlain’s “Appeasement” was a nearly-fatal mistake. But did we learn the lesson? Iran is heading full steam ahead towards nuclear arsenal. And what does the world do? Nothing. All of the world leaders prefer to sit this fight out. They all prefer the comfort of this fraudulent peace. I only wish these leaders remembered Churchill’s remark to Chamberlain "You were given the choice between war and dishonor. You chose dishonor and you will have war."

We are all waiting for a new Churchill. Let’s just hope he’ll show up soon enough.

And as for us on the IDF, we need no one to tell us that “I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat“. We know that already. That’s our day-by-day routine.

And if that frustrating history lesson wasn’t enough on its own, I missed “Depeche Mode”s show! Some of my friends were lucky enough to go there. The worst thing about this is that I could have had tickets using a “COMBINA” from my uncle…

Skepticism

When I first thought about opening my own blog, I never figured how demanding it might be, and I'm not only talking about my time here: Everyday I work on this blog is like an emotional rollercoaster, taking your spirit and mood from the highest mountain to the lowest hole and back in a matter of minutes.
Lately, that rollercoaster seems to be taking too many sharp turns downwards. I've never thought I'll write this, but I'm frustrated, and I believe I was never so close to fall to the "dark side" of skepticism.
The idea behind the blog is to share my experiences and thoughts, and hear what people have to say about it, and recently I got too many poisonous words.

The following is just one example, but a quick look on the comments made on the blog-posts will give you plenty more. This one, is from my Facebook account. A seemingly nice Canadian girl decided to tongue-lash me:

(Click to enlarge. I've cencored her name, even though she doesn't deserve it)

After this "lovely" conversation, I asked myself why would a normal girl, from a western advanced country, attack me like that. Is it just because I'm an Israeli soldier? Is it because I'm Israeli? Is it because I'm Jewish? I guess it's the mixture of all of the above.

Israeli, Palestinian and International leaders work everyday to find a solution to the situation in the area. On the same spirit, my parents always told me, and raised me to believe that one day we will "beat our swords into plowshares and our spears into pruning hooks". But with every hateful comment and letter, skepticism takes a tiny step forward on its way to run me over.
The Road Map? The Arab initiative? Two nations? One nation? These words will remain empty of all meaning until the day will come and we all realize that eventually we have to live here together.

Precedents

I ran into an article on the Jerusalem Post, and a precedent set by the PA's judges:

"In the first case of its kind, a Palestinian Authority "military court" on Tuesday sentenced a Palestinian man to death by hanging after finding him guilty of selling land to Jews".

The article also shows the judge's reasoning, including some laws from 1958 and 1953 that call for boycott on Israel, and ban trade with it.

Laws and efficient justice system are crucial for every society or organization (God knows IDF take its laws seriously), so I decided to help the Palestinians, and set some more precedents so their judges wouldn't need to waste precious time:

• Every man or woman caught talking to an Israeli is guilty of treason, in accordance with the 1958 law that calls for a boycott against Israel. The punishment is amputation of the traitor's vocal cords.


• Every man or woman caught smiling to an Israeli is guilty, in accordance with the 1958 law that calls for a boycott against Israel. The punishment is to be given in the spirit of the Joker's precedent.


• Every man or women caught connecting to the Israeli power supply lines is guilty of treason in accordance with the 1953 law that bans trade with Israel. The punishment is three years of forced labor (Running a wheel to provide the Palestinians with power).


• Every man or women caught employed by an Israeli is guilty of treason, treason in accordance with the 1953 law that bans trade with Israel. The traitor's money and property will be confiscated.


• Every leader signing any sort of agreement with Israel is guilty of treason, in accordance with the precedent of the Egyptian president Sadat. The punishment is, obviously death, preferably painful and humiliating.

When I think of it, maybe Arafat didn't sign the peace treaty with Prime Minister Barak in Camp David 2000 because he also thought the Islamic judges will turn to Sadat's precedent. That makes sense. But what I don't get is why the Palestinians continue to work in Israel and use its services - the 1953 and 1958 laws clearly rule against this! But I'm no jurist, what do I understand?

Things you know that you don't know

There are things IDF knows how to do, and there are things IDF knows it doesn't know how to do. I'm risking here being laughed at, just like former secretary of defense Rumsfeld, but it's true:

Hostile armored brigade to handle? Piece of cake.
Blazing Dogfight? Not a problem.
Hijacked plane? Bring it on!
Surgical strike on high ranking terrorists? Sure thing.

But when an Israeli soldier steps into a medical clinic... oh boy, he knows for sure that the clinic's staff wouldn't know what the hell to do with him.

Headache? Drink a lot.
Heartburn? Drink a lot and take this pill.
Your knee hurts? Drink a lot and take this pill.
Your stomach? Drink a lot, take this pill and try not to eat anything unusual.
Your leg? Drink a lot and take this pill.
Your ears? Drink a lot and take this pill.
Your joints? Drink a lot and take these pills twice a day.
Fever? Drink a lot and take this pill, and rest.

This might sound like conventional medical treatment to you, but all of those pills are the actually the same. "Acamol" is the simplest pain reliever on earth, and military doctors just prescribe it for everything.
(Acamol is the popular Paracetamol drug in Israel. In many countries a similar pill is known as "Panadol". And don't ask me anything else about this matter. I googled it so I'd know how to translate it).

Now, let me get this straight. I'm not blaming the doctors. They have to deal with a constant flow of soldiers trying to bluff them and get some extra days in home. When significant numbers of your "patients" are actually frauds, no wonder you treat everyone with a pill which has a stronger placebo effect than real effect.

But that, doesn't help the one soldier who complains for months about stomach aches and ends up in the hospital, because no one had noticed that he has appendicitis. If you read Israeli newspapers- you'll find from time to time a piece on that spirit.

So,
Tanks and commando units? Easy.
Infantry and APCs? With one hand tied behind the back.
Jets and helicopters? Simply not fair.

Swine flu? God help us all...

A Glimpse

Last week I got lucky, and instead of doing the everyday guarding duties I was assigned to my commander to assist him while he goes between all of the positions my company is currently in charge of. A month or so ago, I would have done anything to avoid sitting with him in the same car, but hundreds of hours in various pillboxes, checkpoints and bushes (Yes, you guessed right, the bushes’ hours are the worst) gave me the right perspective: Air conditioner? Upholstered chair? No guarding duties? Normal hours (Somehow I always get to guard all night long and sleep all day long)? Count me in. I wasn’t even anxious when I got on the car (That’s at least what I told my friends. Before I went on the car I shaved, shined my boots, cleaned up my weapon and memorized all of the standing orders, and still I felt like I’m walking into the lion’s den).

Anyhow, that week sure was a whole lot better than any other week I had so far. I got to do some serious “mingling” with my commander which is always useful (I’ll have to test it in a few weeks by “marrying” a cousin and asking to go the “wedding”), and I had some very interesting conversations with him. In one of these conversations we talked about that “Can Do” attitude I discussed in my previous posts, and I asked my commander whether that attitude is enough to make an Israeli soldier stand up and charge against the enemy while under fire. My commander said that I’m too young (That’s a major insult in the IDF, because the title young does not refer to one’s age, but to his seniority) to understand this as I’ve never felt real fear. And I thought to myself: you try to get into a car with yourself, and then tell me I’ve never felt fear.
So, I dropped the issue. Although I knew my commander has a point (because my company and I haven’t seen real action yet) I still found his answer lacking.

The next time I went back home it finally hit me. I stood with my friends back in our high school, listening to the blood freezing cry of the sirens, listening to the names of all of the school’s graduates K.I.As. It was the national Memorial Day for Israel’s fallen, and when I looked right and left I had a glimpse at the fear my commander was talking about. Who will be the next name on the list? Will the man on my right have flowers placed on his photograph next? Will the man on my left be the next to have a candle lit in his memory? Will it be me?

That glimpse was enough to make me shiver. My commander was right. That “Can Do” is necessary, but it wouldn’t be enough on its own.

A lot of people find it strange that Israel commemorates it’s fallen on one day, and then celebrates its independence only minutes later. This year, that swift change showed me what are the real things that allows you to stand up in the line of fire and charge: Your commitment to the men charging with you, and the purpose you fight for.

Yom Hazikaron

Yom Hazikaron

(Memorial Day)

Israeli Fallen Soldiers and Victims of Terrorism Remembrance Day

"...gets a whole different meaning, while wearing a green uniform..."

Yes We Can

As I showed on my last post, "Yes We Can" is not only Barack Obama's slogan, IDF has trained all of the Israeli soldiers to have faith in their ability, and to push their limits way beyond they ever thought possible.
The best example for this is the march every soldier does in order to get his beret. The march is many dozens of kilometers long (depends on the unit) and it's probably the hardest physical challenge a soldier goes through. Some people may not agree with me, but this march has no military purpose. It's not a required skill for a soldier. In my opinion, this march's pure purpose is to make every soldier believe that he can do a lot more than he has ever dreamed.

So what is that thing that allows you to find within yourself the power to push forward? What takes you up that "Six Rope"? What motivates you to go, when you find out that you lost your way on a navigation task in the middle of the night?

I don't know what makes other people go when they feel their body can go no more, but I sure do know what that thing is for me.
When ever I go through a difficult thing, physically and mentally alike, my hand goes - as if on it's on - to my pocket. From there I drain all the energy I need to get back on my feet and keep on going.

That thing, the thing that never leaves my pocket, is my grandfather's yellow Shield of David, with the word "Jude" burning from it. The same piece of pure evil and hatred the Nazis made my grandfather sew to his clothes. When I say to myself "I have to stop", all I need to do is put my hand in my pocket and imagine what it has been like for my grandfather - the Ghetto, the escape from the train to the death camp Treblinka, the struggle against the Nazis in the forests with the partisans.
If he lived through this, I must believe everything is possible for me. I must do all I can to defend Israel.

When I enlisted, my mother gave me this Shield of David - my grandfather's last memory from a life taken away from him. My mother said my grandfather would have been proud of me, if he was alive. I'm sure he would. I carry this symbol, originally created to humiliate the Jewish people, with great pride.

This week was the Holocaust Memorial Day. I will appreciate it if whoever reads this dedicates a few moments and to the six millions Jews murdered by the Nazis. May their souls be bound up in the bond of everlasting life.

Updates

I was invited by the UJC's "Voices from Sderot" to write a guest-post. I invite you all to pay this site a visit, and see the blessed work these people do. You have to sign up to UJC in order to comment over there, so feel free to comment on the post here.

I've also opened a Twitter account so those of you who don't use RSS can stay updated with new posts as I publish them. Click the button at the upper right corner (or below) to follow me.



And last but not least- Facebook account and group.

See you soon, Yoav B.

Barack Obama's military history

Sometimes I think Barack Obama was trained in IDF.

For an Israeli soldier in basic training every meal starts with a rather pagan ritual: climbing a six meters long rope, which most soldiers simply call “six rope”. Some commanders claim this is a good exercise that boosts your body before the meal, but it is actually one last “torture” before you can sit down and have a few moments of break from the brutal trainings.
When we were close to the end of the basic training, our commander came to us with a new challenge: we were to climb the rope legs free, using only our arms. Try to imagine what it’s like to be two stories high with only your arms gripping around two-inch thick rope, separating you and the ground bellow. We all know that we don’t stand a chance against this absolutely insane task. One by one we started climbing the rope, and one by one we failed miserably. We were quite sure our commander was just trying to make fun of us as the training was close to an end. We were dead wrong.
At that point our commander stepped forward, and without a single word spoken climbed the rope legs free.
One by one we started climbing the rope, and one by one, trembling from fear and muscle pain, we got to the top.

Sometimes I think Barack Obama was trained in IDF,
Where else could he come up with “Yes We Can”?
______________

And just so you know, after several accidents on the “six rope”, IDF’s protocols were changed, and now they state that every soldier must wear a helmet when climbing (And it is not that orange helmet you see on construction workers). and unlike the photo above, we climb the rope with our weapon and gear on us.

Busy with army-things...

Last few days were very fulfilling - I've recieved great responses and feedbacks from readers and other bloggers. I'm currently very busy and I don't have much spare time, so the next time I post will probably be a couple of days. In the meantime - tell your freinds to pay me a visit. Oh, I mean, here in the Blog! Not at my base... or else I'm dead meat (and you wouldn't like this to happen, right?).

I'll be back soon,
Yoav B.

Love at first voice

"Control to Patrol, what is your exact location?"

"…"

"Control to Patrol, copy that. Be advised, three vehicles are moving towards your position, on your route. Do you copy?"

"…"

"Control to Patrol, roger and out"

You might find this conversation familiar. You've probably seen and heard something similar on an action movie. But for an Israeli soldier this voice has a much greater meaning. It will be impossible to know this from the transcript of the conversation, but that "Control" is all the feminine company a soldier has on the weeks he spends in the base. Yes, that "Control" is almost always a girl sitting somewhere around you, and watching you from above.


You have to understand that in a field unit we spend all of our time with the company. Boys. Only boys. Dozens of them. The brotherhood is unbelievable and worth appreciating, but sometimes that soft girly voice on the radio-comm is the thing that allows you to escape the Soldier you are, and feel (for a moment) like a normal guy.

That's Agam Rodberg- famos Israeli model

"Control to Patrol, how's life?"

"Control to Patrol, do want to continue this on a cup of coffee?"

"Control to Patrol, this is my number, give me a call."

These lines will never be said. None of these "Patrol"s and "Control"s will ever meet each other. No relationship will grow here.
But for a soldier manning a post or a patrol, it truly is – love at first voice.

Dedicated for all of those "Control" girls out there….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BcMof_kwNk


p.s
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