When Girls Drink...

When girls drink....
  • We have no idea where our handbag is.
  • We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our bums while yelling "Woooohoo!" is truly the sexiest dance move ever!
  • We suddenly decide that we want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe we could do it.
  • In our last trip to pee we realise that we now look more like a Homeless Hooker than the Goddess that we were four hours ago.
  • We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo much.
  • We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song comes on and we yell "Oh My God, its my song!  I looooove this song".
  • We find a deeper, spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us.
  • We feel the need to flash our tits.
  • We suddenly take up smoking and we are very good at it.
  • We accuse the bartender of diddling us because we believe he's serving us lemonade but its just that we can no longer taste the gin.
  • We think we are in bed but we've been curled up on the kitchen floor for ages using a mop as a pillow with our skirt hiked up to our waist.
  • We fail to notice that the toilet seat is down.
  • We take our shoes off because we feel that it is their fault we're having trouble walking straight.
  • We get louder and louder as the evening progresses and don't feel that the alcohol is affecting us at all.  "I'm fiiiinnne!"

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Whiskey, 
I say I'm fucking thirsty, not dirty!

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